July 2014
7/14/2014 — Meeting The Mob — If I ever make an anthology book, I'm going to name it "Tracksuits In July."
December 2013
12/31/2013 — Who's That In The Lunch Line? — Perhaps nobody but Darrell finds this funny, and that is fine.
July 2013
7/28/2013 — ...In July? — "Incidentally, I just noticed our staircase doesn't seem to have any railings..."
November 2012
11/5/2012 — Security Questions — "What was the title of the guest comic that was up for over seven months?"
March 2012
3/30/2012 — Christening — April Fools' mix-up funtime! Today's comic is by good friend and fellow occasional comic...
3/26/2012 — Four Out Of Five Dentists — If I did this right, you'll have the "Odd Couple" theme in your head all day.
3/20/2012 — Below The Fold — What has two thumbs and forgot how to draw his own characters?
February 2012
2/16/2012 — Making Faces — I'll take "Things That Will Give Me Nightmares" for $200, Alex.
2/13/2012 — Wooing The Investor — "So... Can we have some money now?"
2/10/2012 — Jenga Truther — Please direct all angry messages to... somebody else.
2/6/2012 — Code Samples — "I think it's either a ticketing system or part of a social gaming platform for...
January 2012
1/25/2012 — Goddamn Tourist — I can't tell if this is the worst writing or the best writing.
1/24/2012 — Audio Programming — "Gaah, my tinnitus!"
1/2/2012 — Working From Home — Admit it, Return to Castle Wolfenstein was a pretty great game...
December 2011
12/30/2011 — Drummer Conversion — Yes, I realize John Bonham was cremated when he died. I figure this comic has more significant...
12/22/2011 — Shortest Day Of The Year — That's how I'd spend it, given the chance.
12/7/2011 — (Anti)Matter — Apparently the universe would not be destroyed in this situation. That disappoints me.
12/6/2011 — Towns Named After Guys — Meh.
12/5/2011 — The Redesign — "Also, try to make it pop more. I'm not seeing it pop."
November 2011
11/25/2011 — Gilligan's Aisle — One should never allow a crappy diner drawing to go to waste.
11/24/2011 — Sleep All Day — Be careful what you wish for...
11/23/2011 — Can Drive — I am a bastard.
11/22/2011 — I Considered Online Dating — I like that joke. Shut up.
11/21/2011 — Childish Argument — 2^31 - 1. Good number to memorize.
11/18/2011 — Gummy Vitamins — Keep out of reach of children. And me.
11/17/2011 — Kill It! Kill It! — I'm going to be sued.
11/16/2011 — It's 10PM — Something approximating a callback to comic 101.
11/15/2011 — Timmy The Talking Toaster — Either this is an inking/background experiment, or it's a chilling look at the man I will one...
11/14/2011 — Bop It! — I see no need to comment on this one.
11/11/2011 — Goat Check — What is this, I don't even
11/10/2011 — Failed Pickup Lines 2 — I don't recommend trying this one, even if the fact is true in your particular case.
11/9/2011 — Other Poses — To meta-joke, or not to meta-joke. That is the question nobody cares about.
11/8/2011 — Barbers: Stop Doing This — Some of us don't enjoy having our ears sawn off.
11/7/2011 — Confessions Of Negative Space — I still am a weird kid.
11/4/2011 — Let's Get Drunk! — A good policy to live by.
11/3/2011 — Coin Counting — If I had a nickel for every time a homeless person asked me for change, I still wouldn't give...
11/2/2011 — Is This Ad Relevant? — "If I click any of the buttons, the government will activate the chip they implanted in my...
11/1/2011 — At The U.S. Mint — Alternate Punchline: "Look at my fucked-up hands!"
October 2011
10/31/2011 — Last-Minute Costume Ideas — Make sure you stand right in the middle of the sidewalk. That'll really help sell it.
10/28/2011 — Got A Hold — This is what happens when I spend all night playing old FPSes instead of drawing a quality image.
10/27/2011 — Registered Democrat — A callback to good ol' comic 68.
10/26/2011 — Lazy Programming — Not to be confused with lazy comicing.
10/25/2011 — Morning Routine — This happens to me a lot. I feel like I am doing something wrong.
10/24/2011 — Other People's Kids — I was initially going to reverse the kid-pet roles, but pets are hard to draw.
10/21/2011 — Waxed Floss — I guess we'll find out if this thing still works with JPEGs, huh?
10/20/2011 — Magic Tweet Ball — I actually don't have anything to say for once.
10/19/2011 — Presidential Debate — Watch as the entire narrative structure of this comic falls apart.
10/18/2011 — Hat Size Chart — Somebody's gonna send me an email for this.
10/17/2011 — Hipster Perpetual Motion Machine — I wanted to draw a fixie in there somewhere, but ehhh...
10/14/2011 — Unemployed SEO Expert — "You don't want the rats to chew the corners of your sign. It muddles the semantic...
10/12/2011 — DJ Smoooov — "I got two turntables and a thing of sauerkraut."
10/10/2011 — Four Head Playback — VHS jokes in 2011. Yeah, I want there.
June 2011
6/28/2011 — Pi Contest — I may have made it through 446 comics without using the word "Hah!" Just sayin'.
6/24/2011 — Misfortune 2 — That's disturbingly specific, and also accurate.
6/23/2011 — That — I can hear it through my headphones! Christ!
6/22/2011 — Introspection — At least I have my copy of "Alpocalypse" to listen to.
May 2011
5/30/2011 — Caffeine Withdrawal: Day 938 — Most likely the primary reason for the precipitous drop in update frequency...
December 2010
12/24/2010 — A Lump Of Coal — This one is about Minecraft.
12/1/2010 — Quirks Mode Burger — Seemingly the only kind of burger a fast food establishment in New York City is willing to prepare.
November 2010
11/29/2010 — A Good Song — That last panel looks like something a crazy person would draw. Oh, right.
11/7/2010 — Emphasizes His Point — This is one of those jokes that nobody will get without some explanation.
11/5/2010 — Unfit Parent — Oh man, this is a tough habit to get back into.
June 2010
6/2/2010 — Chart To Live By — How did I arrive at such an oddly specific number? Never you mind...
May 2010
5/31/2010 — Geenyus Barn — That's a fairly perturbed bird.
January 2010
1/8/2010 — Water Heater — Actually, I think I might have to disagree with you there.
December 2009
12/31/2009 — It's Been a While — Happy <every holiday I skipped this year> from Trigger and Freewheel!
October 2009
10/28/2009 — Keep Away From Fire — What's the worst that could happen? ... *boom!*
10/27/2009 — The Dining Room Chandelier — Wait, there's supposed to be a table in here? But then where will I put the render farm?
10/26/2009 — After The Fade — Dear lord I'm rusty...
September 2009
9/4/2009 — Photo Booth — "Love and marriage, love and marriage / It's an institute you can't...
9/3/2009 — Coming This Fall — And yet, I bet people would line up in droves to see the midnight showing.
9/2/2009 — The Cycle — It's roughly the same with cats, only the yipping is replaced with debilitating face scratches.
9/1/2009 — Warstanding — Callback accomplished, ladies and gentlemen!
August 2009
8/31/2009 — Can't Help You — Based on a real exchange I overheard. Censored heavily.
8/28/2009 — Rings — See, I don't think people who care about purity rings also care about purity rings.
8/27/2009 — Baptism — "Step right up! One dollar, three chances for ablution!"
8/26/2009 — Sterile — That would make a great T-shirt that I'd never wear.
8/25/2009 — Worm Supermarket — I should really start doing more worm-based humor. ;)
8/24/2009 — These People Exist — In a way, it's impressive. Unsettling, but impressive.
8/14/2009 — Too Drunk — Yet at that time of night, even if the noodles are severely undercooked, it is the greatest meal...
8/13/2009 — I'ma Cut You — So, yeah, I have probably lost all touch with my sanity.
8/12/2009 — Not-Quite-Right Movie Cliché — GET TO THE CHOPPER!
8/11/2009 — Lovely Hands — I overheard somebody deliver this line and, for whatever reason, this is exactly the image that...
8/10/2009 — Grasslands — AAIIIEEEE!
8/7/2009 — I'd Nail That — This seems asinine.
8/6/2009 — My Glasses — If I ever turn into this guy, please punch me.
8/5/2009 — If You Need Help — Phones have cords?
8/4/2009 — Harmony — I'm looking at you, "Piano Man."
8/3/2009 — Psychic Meter Reading — The stars say that your air conditioner is woefully inefficient.
July 2009
7/31/2009 — Pandora — Yadda yadda, Music Genome Project.
7/30/2009 — Engrish — If the truth is weak. I think it is the tyranny of evil people. But I'm tryin', Ringo....
7/29/2009 — HDCP'd — Open standards 4eva!
7/28/2009 — Sexually Confused Cars — I can't be the only person who ever thought this was weird...
7/27/2009 — YmFzZTY0 — SSdsbCB0YWtlIHRoYXQgYmV0LCB5b3Ugc2NvdW5kcmVsIQ==
7/24/2009 — Easier — With apologies to Kris Straub, Natalie Dee, Drew and Randall Munroe.
7/23/2009 — Creepy SMTP — This is important stuff!
7/22/2009 — Butt Sets — Well that's just silly. I mean, CLLI.
7/21/2009 — Soul Disposal — I guess the Spiritualists go into the compost heap.
7/20/2009 — Shoot For The Moon — Ain't that something.
7/17/2009 — Crowded Bus — Well that's the ugliest 400th comic I've ever drawn.
7/16/2009 — Low Budget Dolly — Eventually we broke the camera and just spent the rest of the day playing around.
7/15/2009 — Shut That Baby Up — I'm not normal.
7/14/2009 — I Hate Parties — Actually, I bet if I tried this, I'd just get annoying jerks talking about sports or reality...
7/13/2009 — It Ain't Easy — You know it's hard out here for... Wait, what the hell is holding him up?
7/10/2009 — Hippie Dreadlock Howto — We can't all be the frontman for Counting Crows...
7/9/2009 — You Go Girl — Heh heh... no.
7/8/2009 — TMJ — Eh, screw shading this one. I'm busy.
7/7/2009 — iSod — But it supports H.264 video *and* it's backwards-compatible with riding and push mowers!
7/6/2009 — A Real Clock — Now, do you think anybody out there would pay anything for these odd things?
7/3/2009 — Comic Buffer — And yet, somehow, the shame's not so bad.
7/2/2009 — Criminal Record — It's his most cherished possession!
7/1/2009 — Hit Single — A certain flavor of blasphemy, I suppose.
June 2009
6/30/2009 — Destabilized — Heh, now we know who to blame.
6/29/2009 — Chemistry Practical — Apparently this is a bad thing to do.
6/26/2009 — Puppeteer — Why is everybody glaring at me?
6/24/2009 — Doc Brown's Cavalcade — "What the hell's a mejajoule?"
6/22/2009 — Homonyms — Some would argue that they're actually heterographs. I would argue that the phone number is...
6/19/2009 — After The Apocalypse — "Wait, weren't we in RAID 1?" "Oh, yeah. I guess we were." "Ah well....
6/18/2009 — Like My Women — All aboard the non sequitur train! Woo-woooo!
6/17/2009 — MythBusters — Or maybe I'm just jealous...
6/16/2009 — Bartending College — Deeee-licious!
6/15/2009 — E.E. Cummings — This comic evidently utilizes code from libFooID, licensed under the GPL. I find that hilarious.
6/12/2009 — That's Amore — Really, metaphor or not, nothing about that song is pleasant.
May 2009
5/11/2009 — Mental Image — It's just like riding a bike. An offensive, poorly-conceived abomination of a bike.
April 2009
4/10/2009 — Important Questions — @smitelli I believe we've asked you not to do that again.
4/9/2009 — Hamthrax — I'm proud of myself for this.
4/8/2009 — Debugging — Man, I should stop trying to draw things.
4/7/2009 — Do Not Confuse 3 — I'm just full of terrible ideas.
4/6/2009 — The Trouble With iPhones — I'm always this guy. Always.
4/5/2009 — Handy — I can't decide if this is a cop-out or an amazing thing.
4/4/2009 — Do Not Write — God I suck.
4/3/2009 — Möbius Sock — I think the clothes dryer just bent spacetime.
4/2/2009 — B-Stand — What would they even look like?
4/1/2009 — Three Sixty Six — I think my brain just melted. (Here's a giant version!)
March 2009
3/31/2009 — Wasted — I suppose it's something of an accomplishment.
3/30/2009 — ATHF — With apologies to, well, everybody.
3/29/2009 — Never Existed — BAM!
3/28/2009 — Bass Boat — I think I'm deranged again.
3/27/2009 — Paper Towels — Eh, close enough.
3/26/2009 — Load Bearing Wonderwall — Today is gonna be the day / That they're gonna knock that damn thing over
3/25/2009 — Jesus Hails a Cab — Wait, can't he just fly there? Or is that Superman?
3/24/2009 — Unlicensed Surgery Workshop — That's what I see, anyway.
3/23/2009 — Calendar Flipbook — It could be done. I'm not sure why you'd want to...
3/22/2009 — Python — Sssss.
3/21/2009 — Beards — Um, eww?
3/20/2009 — Xylophone — Oblig.
3/19/2009 — Months — So... Many... Words...
3/18/2009 — MAF — Remember those crappy paper textbook covers they made you use in high school? Well you do now.
3/17/2009 — Impacted Wisdom — Wow. He's like the Jack Nicholson of molars.
3/16/2009 — Kidnapping — Doesn't really look like much of a kid...
3/15/2009 — I'm All For That — I don't even know how well known this one is.
3/14/2009 — Fifth Wall — Yes, I know it's actually a term for something else. Do I care? No.
3/13/2009 — Unemployed Food Critic — We put a meal in your meal so you can eat while you eat!
3/12/2009 — iPod Shuffle — "But it can talk!" "Yeah, well so can the voices in my head. And I didn't have...
3/11/2009 — PIN Pad — Somewhere, a credit card company is looking at all these digital signatures and laughing.
3/10/2009 — Fredo — Ah, highbrow.
3/9/2009 — Another Henge — Beep.
3/8/2009 — Fiddle Contest — What a quarter-assed logo.
3/7/2009 — Excommunicated — True story...?
3/6/2009 — Tinnitus D — ... And the Q-Tip of Destiny?
3/5/2009 — Word Cloud — Now I hate Myriad Pro.
3/4/2009 — In Your Mouth — Am I banned in an entire country yet?
3/3/2009 — Take Out — I was taught not to waste anything. So there.
3/2/2009 — Clown Floyd — At least he's passionate.
3/1/2009 — Corporate Policy Requires... — Eventually my family got the hint that I hated this.
February 2009
2/28/2009 — Not So Fast, Buddy — Clearly he forgot to remove his shoes.
2/27/2009 — Enthralled — This is exactly where I've been these past few days.
2/26/2009 — Paper Airplanes at NASA — It sucks that they lost that carbon probe...
2/25/2009 — Speakers — I am a hack.
2/24/2009 — Diet Drinks — "Mmm, tastes like chocolate diarrhea!" Actually, it might've been funnier to draw it...
2/23/2009 — Outrun — This one was actually fun to do. Something is clearly wrong with me.
2/22/2009 — Don't Awaken Father — I would totally play this.
2/21/2009 — Alternate Side Parking — Right. Because laying on your horn will magically move all the double-parked cars. Brilliant!
2/20/2009 — What's New? — HTTPun?
2/19/2009 — Weak Graffiti — HOLY CRAB!
2/18/2009 — Alone In A Crowd — I reject your interpretation of the word "antisocial."
2/17/2009 — New Walmart Logo — That's what I see whenever I look at it...
2/16/2009 — The Food Pyramid — At least the old food pyramid made a little bit of sense...
2/15/2009 — Modern Bank Ads — Well, that's a fun time.
2/14/2009 — Do You Love It? — This is one of several reasons why I am still single.
2/13/2009 — All This Machinery, Making Modern Music — Don't get it? Yeah, I admit it's a hard one. AutoTune.
2/12/2009 — Say Something — That is, almost verbatim, what the crazy homeless de-panted man was rambling about.
2/11/2009 — Something I Saw — I'm thinking he had a bit too much to drink, and was trying to jump-start the DD's car....
2/10/2009 — Start The Fire — This song has far too many words.
2/9/2009 — No Drawings — I actually wonder what the Port Authority would do to people who broke this rule...
2/8/2009 — Six Years Already — I've been busy, get off my back. ;)
2/7/2009 — Axe You — Bom bom bom bom, wooooo!
2/6/2009 — Do Not Confuse 2 — I really gotta stop trying to draw real people.
2/5/2009 — Filling Our Brains — Guess which one is the most important?
2/4/2009 — Viva La Rusty — My house, my rules.
2/3/2009 — Sweet Case Mod — Guess the water cooling system leaked...
2/2/2009 — Startup Time — "Whoa, you look terrible! What happened?" "I installed the Waves bundle."
2/1/2009 — Three Digit Bitrate — "Seriously, what did you use to encode these? iTunes?"
January 2009
1/31/2009 — Reel Change — Oddly, I've been on both ends of this exchange.
1/30/2009 — Pawn Shop...? — Way too much effort for a not-so-amazing joke.
1/29/2009 — Bottles Of Beer — Eh, 16-bit is enough.
1/28/2009 — Deleted Scene — It happens sometimes.
1/27/2009 — Interview With Keith Richards — 20th Nervous Breakdown...?
1/26/2009 — Quarter Connect Four 2 — That's what you develop a space program for.
1/25/2009 — The Moves — True story. Also, happy 300!
1/24/2009 — Sit Somewhere Else — :creak:
1/23/2009 — Quantum Leap Is Ruined — That's just about the worst Scott Bakula I've ever drawn.
1/22/2009 — Do That Right Now — You heard me, 14th Street Taco Bell.
1/21/2009 — The DOM — "What have I ever done to make you traverse me so disrespectfully?"
1/20/2009 — Don't Like You — That's just terrible.
1/19/2009 — The Hokey-Pokey — This is, allegedly, what it is all about.
1/18/2009 — Quarter Connect Four — Anybody notice the half-column on the right edge?
1/17/2009 — Nibbles 'n Bytes — I think a dead Mac SE would make a fine mascot.
1/16/2009 — Cylon, Wisconsin — It's real. Look it up, I'll wait.
1/15/2009 — Icebreaking Routine — I've been on the receiving end of this one. Many times.
1/14/2009 — Viral Videos — Haha, no.
1/13/2009 — What's So Funny — You know, I'm not even sure.
1/12/2009 — Wash Me — Cleansed by a cathartic car wash...
1/11/2009 — IDCLIP — Well, I guess I can't make an anthology book anymore. ;)
1/10/2009 — 90 Degree — Well, looks like somebody had a half-baked idea he needed to burn off...
1/9/2009 — Annoying And Miserable — I don't know what I'd do if the states weren't adjacent...
1/8/2009 — afk, earthquake — Yeah, this laptop ain't booting anymore... :-\
1/7/2009 — Young Dreamer — Man, and I thought humans were a pain to draw...
1/6/2009 — Lashes — Hooray for reusing old jokes I've posted to Twitter!
1/5/2009 — Guide To The Midwest — "Visit our world-famous stop sign!"
1/4/2009 — Wayport_Access — Seriously.
1/3/2009 — Tic-Tac-T — In these trying economic times, you have to make some sacrifices.
1/2/2009 — Easy Come, Easy Go — Although I think the repo man has the more interesting stories...
1/1/2009 — Three More Laps — This shouldn't have been that much fun.
December 2008
12/31/2008 — Retire This Design — Man, 2010 is going to make a dumb looking pair of cardboard glasses.
12/30/2008 — Cut Of Your Jib — My God! He's done it! TWO crane jokes in a single month!
12/29/2008 — Far Go — I love this game.
12/28/2008 — Hexadecim-Os — I clearly don't care anymore.
12/27/2008 — Answering Prayers — And that's the end of that.
12/26/2008 — Could Be Worse — A nice cop-out to celebrate the 100,000th image view.
12/25/2008 — Santa Redelivers — Merry Almost Christmas!
12/24/2008 — Last Communion — Glad to see he got all dressed up in his best T-shirt. And misshapen torso.
12/23/2008 — Wrestling — For what it's worth, I hate high school sports. And all sports.
12/22/2008 — Cover Of Darkness — Remind me not to try this again.
12/21/2008 — Detained — Haha, it's funny because their lives are ruined.
12/20/2008 — Making Presents 2 — I'm damn proud of this one. Shut up. ;)
12/19/2008 — Making Presents — "They think they have a good union but they don't. They're basically slaves."
12/18/2008 — Happy Deathday — Touching. Really.
12/17/2008 — Caffeine Withdrawal: Day 44 — Actually, it keeps on going.
12/16/2008 — Don't Trust Santa — There. He survived. You happy?
12/15/2008 — Cleaning Up — Guess what I drew again?
12/14/2008 — Santa Claus Ain't Comin' To Town — Well, at least not after this one.
12/13/2008 — Speakerphone — I think I speak for all of us when I say I'm tired of hearing about your cat's leukemia.
12/12/2008 — Do Not Confuse — And thus, I now have enough comics to overflow a char.
12/11/2008 — Eavesdroppers — Interesting sidenote: I've had "Down Under" by Men At Work playing on repeat the...
12/10/2008 — Terrible Parents — Damn you, pixels!
12/9/2008 — Picking A Christmas Tree — Well, there's another thing I can't really draw well...
12/8/2008 — Paper Jam — Ouch. Magenta toner is the worst.
12/7/2008 — The Christmas Shoes — If I could banish only one Christmas song, this would be it.
12/6/2008 — Anatomy Homework — And I'm sure this comic wasn't what you had in mind either, Globe.
12/5/2008 — Dominant Chords — This is just stupid.
12/4/2008 — IC Spiritual — Hoo boy...
12/3/2008 — So Close — I have no comment.
12/2/2008 — Height War — Actually, they'd probably clip it at the point where the atmosphere was no longer breathable.
12/1/2008 — Start 'Em Young — I could make an org chart children's book! "This is William. William is the CFO. The...
November 2008
11/30/2008 — Bad Service — That's like a -30% tip!
11/29/2008 — Vertical Hold — In Soviet Russia, vertical holds you!
11/28/2008 — Modern Graphic Design — Don't inhale too deeply; the plastic fumes will kill you.
11/27/2008 — VHS — This is, uh, character art. Yeah.
11/26/2008 — Bounding Box — I wish I could say this didn't happen.
11/25/2008 — You're Disgusting — It's my goal to leave this life with the same number of holes I started with.
11/24/2008 — Lower 48 — This is marginally interesting.
11/23/2008 — Bass — "Play a chord? I can't even spell it!"
11/22/2008 — Back, Baby — Or was I ever gone?
11/21/2008 — Working — What baroque anatomy...
11/20/2008 — Why Does... — This is a fun (and deeply, deeply disturbing) thing to play around with.
11/19/2008 — Touch-Screen Computer — ... or one that runs Vista.
11/18/2008 — Bourgeois — And with the exception of this comic, I don't think I've used it either.
11/17/2008 — I.T. Stand-Up — "My dad tied me to Vss; I was grounded for a week!"
11/16/2008 — Ctrl + Alt + Delete, Pete — This would've been a hell of a lot funnier if I could think of any other name that rhymed with...
11/15/2008 — Alone — In related news, pink sucks.
11/14/2008 — Dumbest Comment Thread — I've thought about making a YouTube video which mocks the comments I predict it would get.
11/13/2008 — Auto-Flush — I draw too many people on toilets.
11/12/2008 — c0hen'd! — Yeah, I'm just gonna go.
11/11/2008 — Shortcut — Remind me never to forget to pack the damn Wacom tablet again.
11/10/2008 — Dreamcatcher — ... Unless they have some other purpose that I'm not aware of...
11/9/2008 — Bipolar Science — From the publishers of Make (the Voices Stop).
11/8/2008 — Caffeine Withdrawal: Day 5 — There. It's over. You happy now?
11/7/2008 — Caffeine Withdrawal: Day 4 — I'd like to think this is the first comic ever done in 60i. A rather dubious honor, I'll...
11/6/2008 — Caffeine Withdrawal: Day 3 — Hey, it's only a $400 mike...
11/5/2008 — Caffeine Withdrawal: Day 2 — Oh yeah, it's starting to get to me.
11/4/2008 — Caffeine Withdrawal: Day 1 — Doing an experiment to see how bad it hits me. So far, bad enough. ;)
11/3/2008 — "Drinkability" Spectrum — What a moronic measurement.
11/2/2008 — Daylight Savings — Let's see if this website has any DST-related bugs now.
11/1/2008 — Emo Tattoo — I'm sure somebody has one of these...
October 2008
10/31/2008 — Costumes — No joke, that's about as good as I am at it.
10/30/2008 — Dorm Exorcism — Yeah, I got nothin'.
10/29/2008 — Slate — I can't even remember how I came up with this premise.
10/28/2008 — Desensitized — This can happen.
10/27/2008 — Bank Ads — How'sabout "Free oxygen (in participating locations)"?
10/26/2008 — Not Gonna Lie — If it makes you feel any better, he's faking it.
10/25/2008 — Cursive — Second grade was a complete waste of time.
10/24/2008 — Bachelor Math — And yes, I've done this.
10/23/2008 — In Case Of Fire — Totally worth it.
10/22/2008 — 0 dBFS — It's a limit, not a suggestion.
10/21/2008 — A Little Dry — Let's not make this a regular occurrence.
10/20/2008 — Powersquelch — This is why I can't work in commercials.
10/19/2008 — A Dream — Based on a recurring dream I've had for as long as I can remember...
10/18/2008 — High Definition — Trust me... The fewer pixels I have, the better it is. (And here's a big-ass version!)
10/17/2008 — Sounding Louder — Well, that's 200.
10/16/2008 — God Bless America — Let's see who this one angers...
10/15/2008 — You're A Pal — French acronyms are funny.
10/14/2008 — I'd Hit That — Well, there goes my last shred of integrity...
10/13/2008 — Rigged! — One of the less explainable ideas...
10/12/2008 — Confusing-Ass Pictogram — Aww, Mr. Voltage Explosion Thing always looks so angry...
10/11/2008 — Misfortune — I suck at text warping. Also, I suck at not letting my comic buffer drain.
10/10/2008 — Ideas — What a terrible font.
10/9/2008 — Lacuna Beach — Ehhh...
10/8/2008 — Saw VI — And I doubt anyone cares.
10/7/2008 — Hey Idiot — Yes, I'm talking about you.
10/6/2008 — Diploma — Hey, looks like I slipped the update by... :looks at watch:... 22 hours.
10/5/2008 — Soundman — "Don't worry, ma'am. It's what I do."
10/4/2008 — Org Chart Of Childhood — Back when things were simple...
10/3/2008 — Too Much Work — I really wish that thing would shut up...
10/2/2008 — Things That Make Me Feel Old — Hey, it's Trigger and Freewheel's first fat guy!
10/1/2008 — So Difficult — At least this machine doesn't have that Giant Knob of Doom...
September 2008
9/30/2008 — So Much Porn — What a proud day.
9/29/2008 — My Co-Pilot — I await your damnation.
9/28/2008 — Welcome Back — Your dreams were your ticket out...
9/27/2008 — Line Producer — I've worked with him.
9/26/2008 — Server Service — Guess what I spent the last few days doing?
9/25/2008 — Front Wheel Drive — Still, I think I'd like to try it.
9/24/2008 — Phage — These things are deeply creepy.
9/23/2008 — Logic Gates Of Heaven — RIP Nokomis...
9/22/2008 — c0ne'd! — I guess that's how it would be spelled...
9/21/2008 — Shock Site — This actually happened.
9/20/2008 — Third Quarter Numbers — I totally wanted to post this yesterday. No, really.
9/19/2008 — Preventer — Had the building actually burned down, then I'd be a bit more forgiving...
9/18/2008 — Ice Cold Water — I gotta start doing these earlier in the day...
9/17/2008 — Bargain Rack — Uh, yeah.
9/16/2008 — Frustrations — Today's been one of those days...
9/15/2008 — Octopus Jesus — Someone has a spot waiting for him in Hell...
9/14/2008 — Webcomic Star — Stop looking over my shoulder. Jeez...
9/13/2008 — Barcodehenge — Located in the lovely UPC/EAN valley...
9/12/2008 — Not My Type — ::dodges thrown tomato::
9/11/2008 — I'm An Addict — "I fell off the wagon. Or I fell back onto the wagon. I forget which is the bad one."
9/10/2008 — Infinite Regress — This one didn't turn out the way I wanted... :-\
9/9/2008 — Machine Names — We need to upgrade everything, from Mixolydian to Braggadocio.
9/8/2008 — Least Seaworthy Dorm — I guess the same could be said about most of the ones I've been in...
9/7/2008 — LIFOs — From the makers of Round-Robin Donuts...
9/6/2008 — Central Park Wedding — Later he'll try to get the squirrels to catch the bouquet. (Actually, it's a pine cone.)
9/5/2008 — More Subtle Differences — That's a fine looking catheter bag, right there.
9/4/2008 — A Chance Encounter — RIP Don LaFontaine...
9/3/2008 — Segwai — Wait, a "comic" is generally something you've drawn? Damn...
9/2/2008 — Somebody's Photo — I'm sure I'm in the background of a bunch of Facebook photos from people I've never...
9/1/2008 — Number One Girl — I have only one good thing to say about greeting cards: I can draw 'em quick.
August 2008
8/31/2008 — Four-Way Switch — Well that's certainly a boring premise...
8/30/2008 — Advertising Contract — "Make it squigglier!"
8/29/2008 — Spock Pockets — You win, Keith.
8/28/2008 — Goddamn Heels — Approximately true story.
8/27/2008 — Spare Some Change — This may or may not have been slapped together in 10 minutes. ::shifty eyes::
8/26/2008 — Automatic Door — Chivalry isn't dead; it just makes you look dumb.
8/25/2008 — My Other Car — ... and unfortunately it's in the shop.
8/24/2008 — Trigonometric Functions — Well that's pretty stupid.
8/23/2008 — Cracking Gum — If I could do this without getting thrown out of the Ruby Tuesday's, I totally would.
8/22/2008 — Facebook Picture — It might, actually.
8/21/2008 — Out Of Work — They don't even ship this guy in Office's clip art library anymore.
8/20/2008 — Wait A Minute... — Accuse me of pandering, huh?
8/19/2008 — Ctrl+C — And I don't mean "Copy"...
8/18/2008 — Scathing Review — To everybody visiting from Reddit, I appreciate the fact that you're taking the time to visit....
8/17/2008 — Fetch Me A Hard Drive — Did I draw Dr. Frankenstein or Dr. Horrible?
8/16/2008 — Followed The Diagram — I want to know how they got the cloud inside the building...
8/15/2008 — Lackluster Concert — If I ever started a band, that's what I'd name it.
8/14/2008 — Rochester Olympics — With a special shout-out to the guys in #csh, who inspired me to do this one.
8/13/2008 — Shy Bladder — Don't look at me like that. Or at all.
8/12/2008 — Sweet Dreams — I'd totally pay for this ability.
8/11/2008 — The Gami Globe — Today I bring you a small piece of history: The first comic I ever made that was viewed by any...
8/10/2008 — You'll Get Your Wish — Ah, the eyes of a child.
8/9/2008 — Antarctic Cows — This idea has been floating around in my head since... Well, since that commercial was still airing.
8/8/2008 — Carnegie Hall — Can we give it a rest now?
8/7/2008 — Party Foul — I can't believe I actually drew this one.
8/6/2008 — Long Nails — There is a definite correlation between nail length and overall bitchiness.
8/5/2008 — Ultra Safe Baby Stroller — I think I may finally have all four wheels off the road.
8/4/2008 — Dr. Tooth — Why does a tooth have his own teeth? Do each of his teeth contain a set of even smaller teeth?
8/3/2008 — Change Of Opinion — I, uh, don't know how to draw sweat.
8/2/2008 — Miserable Game Show — Do I smell a story arc? No. No I don't.
8/1/2008 — Too Damn Hot — Serious Note: The air conditioner in my apartment broke, and it's absolutely way too hot for...
July 2008
7/31/2008 — Pet Peeve #14 — "If you had told me it was an emergency, maybe I would've put some effort into maybe...
7/30/2008 — Hit That E5 — I'm a regular Morten Harket when nobody's around.
7/29/2008 — Misunderstood — Well that's certainly something.
7/28/2008 — Irreconcilable Differences — "I don't get it."
7/27/2008 — Don't Do That Here — From the publishers of "Bart's Mommy Has Three Months Left To Live"...
7/26/2008 — Vibrate Mode — Have you ever actually been in a store like this? The people trying out the chairs are a little......
7/25/2008 — Not The Worst Date — Eh, I guess this one turned out decent enough...
7/24/2008 — Never Suspected — Jesus Christ, I hate cursive and everything related to it.
7/23/2008 — AdSense Check — A brick of noodles and a packet of meat-flavored salt. Delicious.
7/22/2008 — New Tattoo — I sense a deeper meaning...
7/21/2008 — Prosecutors — And a lot of 'em deserve it.
7/20/2008 — Academic Disagreement — Look it up. I'll wait.
7/19/2008 — It's Like... — Well, I certainly phoned this one in...
7/18/2008 — The Masterizer — It also does exaggerated pitch correction, high-end annihilation, and adds compression artifacting...
7/17/2008 — Silent Running — FYI, the Prius is goddamn hard to trace.
7/16/2008 — Can You See? — Hey. They said it, not me.
7/15/2008 — Tales From The Bank Line — Wait, what's a hippie doing at the bank? He doesn't have any money...
7/14/2008 — Buzz Lightyear BASIC — I really just wanted to burn this idea off. (And a nod to Keith and the rest of the diner-ers.)
7/13/2008 — Interpreter — That's why I never got good at CS... I was too distracted by the interpreters.
7/12/2008 — Service Changes — I have half a mind to print these up and start posting them.
7/11/2008 — Great Concert — Now, do I want to keep shading things, or do I want to finish a comic in under four hours?
7/10/2008 — Piracy. It's Hilarious. — Mocking the MPAA: Inappropriate for No Ages.
7/9/2008 — 100 Days — And I did it without a single Photoshop crash! <3 OS X.
7/8/2008 — Lost In A Parking Lot — Why aren't either of them carrying bags? Mysteries of the universe...
7/7/2008 — Just One Line — Although it's not all fun... The panhandlers get a lot creepier once the sidewalks empty out.
7/6/2008 — Pimp My Ride — "Also, we turned your gas tank into an aquarium!"
7/5/2008 — Ending The Loudness War — I believe a shotgun on a boom stand is just about the funniest thing I've ever seen.
7/4/2008 — Context Is Everything — Additionally, I only know how to draw one type of female footwear.
7/3/2008 — Oldies Argument — Personal note, I really need to start paying more attention to relative scale and line thickness...
7/2/2008 — Unsettling Future — The cards foretell this, with an accuracy of +/- 5 millimeters.
7/1/2008 — Creative Writing — "Did you even read the material?"
June 2008
6/30/2008 — Museum Of Modeling Disasters — Where meshes go to die.
6/29/2008 — Music Infomercial — Our first celebrity cameo, and our first use of a long lens.
6/28/2008 — Planning Ahead — Somewhere out there, somebody won't get this.
6/27/2008 — Bouncing That Basketball — True story. Also, this might be the most action-y pose I've ever attempted.
6/26/2008 — Almost Three Months — This means something, although I'm not quite sure exactly what it is.
6/25/2008 — Luminiferous Aether — "Um, sir? Are you sure this information is scientifically sound?" "Who's the...
6/24/2008 — Teleprompter Operator — RIP George Carlin...
6/23/2008 — Car Modification — I'm actually getting really good with the pen tool. Bonus points if you can find the Google...
6/22/2008 — Restaurant Flyers — I swear, I get one of these every other day. Never once ordered anything.
6/21/2008 — Glow In The Dark — Why don't we question cartoon clichés more often?
6/20/2008 — HDMI Cable — What's next? "HDCP really makes the color pop, huh?"
6/19/2008 — Stock Exchange — Well that took a lot longer than it should've...
6/18/2008 — Russian Reversal — I wanted to post a (slightly) better comic, but it wasn't working out the way I wanted....
6/17/2008 — Not A Linguist — Did I spell any of this correctly?
6/16/2008 — Where You Work — Again, based entirely on something I actually saw.
6/15/2008 — Roof Upkeep — You can't easily make this stuff up...
6/14/2008 — Open Mic Comedy — I knew we shouldn't have come here on Ph.D night...
6/13/2008 — Real-Life EULA — We're probably not too far away from this...
6/12/2008 — Painter's Algorithm — What's wrong with me?
6/11/2008 — Rockwellian — I think I'm bordering travesty right here.
6/10/2008 — At PowerPoint-CON One — Back in school, whenever they turned the lights down I'd think, "Oh boy, we're...
6/9/2008 — Belt Failure — I can't be the only one who has tried this... Can I?
6/8/2008 — Ice Cream Antisocial — They used to have these in my school. The social, that is. We made them anti.
6/7/2008 — Sign My Petition — I've answered this one incorrectly before.
6/6/2008 — Double Free Gum — Hey, somebody sorta figured out how to use the pen tool...
6/5/2008 — Kenotherapy — Stay strong, creepy wheezing old people at casino buffets...
6/4/2008 — Exercise Rack — There's probably a market for exercise machine/laundry racks.
6/3/2008 — More Failed Pickup Lines — I actually heard this one in use. It didn't work.
6/2/2008 — Stumbling Into The Future — I had to watch an episode of Dora the Explorer for research. I feel so much dumber now.
6/1/2008 — Wearing White — ... And apparently I don't either. Go me.
May 2008
5/31/2008 — Buy Zunes! — Lucky sales have been so slow lately.
5/30/2008 — Seven Years' Tribute — Don't hurt me, Barry. ;)
5/29/2008 — Rock Me... — Well, that was quick.
5/28/2008 — Will "Will It Blend?" Blend? — That's just confusing.
5/27/2008 — Melisma — Yes Whitney, you'll always love him. We get it.
5/26/2008 — Crappy Birthday — Are Facebook friends worth more or less than real friends? I always forget the exchange rates...
5/25/2008 — Lost In The Woods — "Put that field guide away or I eat it."
5/24/2008 — CAPTCHA — I'm never going to give you money, RapidShare.
5/23/2008 — Rectifier — The South shall ripple again.
5/22/2008 — On A Leash — Which one has the fleas, again?
5/21/2008 — Scantron, PA — In fact, any combination of those letters generally makes for a horrible afternoon.
5/20/2008 — Distinctive Luggage — "That's a pretty emasculating handbag, right there."
5/19/2008 — Price Check — "Hey man, why you buyin' so much toilet paper? Sheewt."
5/18/2008 — Upscale Ads — Something I actually saw once, in exact detail.
5/17/2008 — LDAPcon 2008 — That's right, I said it.
5/16/2008 — Pool Drains — Don't go in the deep end...
5/15/2008 — Bad At Cards — Perhaps this is why I'm still single?
5/14/2008 — Order Error — A multi-panel comic! Double the drawings, half the overall quality!
5/13/2008 — Video Engineer Pickup Lines — Also, "I'll show you my PLUGE pattern if you show me your subcarrier."
5/12/2008 — Paint Department — That background is brought to you by an unholy combination of PHP and Maya. :shudder:
5/11/2008 — Mother's Day — Ain't gonna find this on no Hallmark card...
5/10/2008 — Satellite Radio — Also, if I wanted to hear Miley Cyrus, I'd kill myself right now and go to Hell. I understand...
5/9/2008 — ATA Kung Fu — I'm not even sure if this is funny these days...
5/8/2008 — Tire Ironed — True story.
5/7/2008 — W4 Series — I see faces where there are none.
5/6/2008 — Usability Test — I was asked to test-drive a piece of software for a programming assignment. I decided to have a bit...
5/5/2008 — Ugly — You wouldn't like me without a Wacom tablet. (Also, Synaptics touchpads suck. Just...
5/4/2008 — Everywhere, Man — This is actually 100% accurate to the song's lyrics. Look 'em up. (verse 1=red, verse...
5/3/2008 — Cop-Out #1 — This is completely unrelated to the business of the comic. But I ran out of things to post....
5/2/2008 — Headlight Color Temperatures: A Comparative Analysis — Like my opinion matters...
5/1/2008 — Rock The Casbah Video Game — Why in the world did they never make this song into a video game? Lord knows they've made...
April 2008
4/30/2008 — Great Offense — Cell phones still have antennae, right? Right?
4/29/2008 — One-Armed Bandit — Angelo says this one is sort of funny. He guesses.
4/28/2008 — Cut-Rate Insurance — 5 years, 100,000 miles. Whichever comes cheapest.
4/27/2008 — Murder Most Foul — Thanks for letting me use the tablet, Bruce. Although I can't get used to the thing...
4/26/2008 — Rattle The Trunk — Confession: I'm slightly drunk right now. I probably won't do it again.
4/25/2008 — T9 Mad Libs — I hope I'm violating somebody's trademark. ;)
4/24/2008 — Subtle Difference — There. That oughta not clear anything up.
4/23/2008 — Misqualified — I kinda want to have an interview for a C# job, just so I can pull off his gag...
4/22/2008 — Differentiation — Ask me anything about dog urine. Anything.
4/21/2008 — Tech School Afternoon — Shortest building? Yes. But I wanted to draw a clock.
4/20/2008 — Marley — No Short-Term Memory No Cry
4/19/2008 — Loan — I know. I'm sorry.
4/18/2008 — 3 Oz — Also, if you guys decide to add me to any security watch lists, make sure to spell my name...
4/17/2008 — Effects Budget — The first person to key something cool into this comic wins a prize. What prize, you ask?...
4/16/2008 — Note To Self — Also, remind me never to write another comic that requires drawing a bunch of kids.
4/15/2008 — Snowbound — That's what it is, that's what it does.
4/14/2008 — Under Oath — Congratulations, Lucifer, for making me draw facial hair for the first time.
4/13/2008 — Point Of Fail — "Would you like to purchase an extended warranty?" "After watching you manhandle...
4/12/2008 — Chicago — Why'd I have to dig around for this knock-off font? Is it because I never installed Classic?
4/11/2008 — Damn Kids — In my day, we only had ONE seeder! In the SNOW!
4/10/2008 — 1st Of Tha Month — Should I not have gone there?
4/9/2008 — Streaming Audio — Dedicated to my next door neighbors. Oh yeah.
4/8/2008 — Toilet Humor — Hopefully this is the lowest I'll stoop for a while.
4/7/2008 — Ob-La-Di — Can a '1' pass as a lowercase 'L'? IT CAN TODAY!
4/6/2008 — New York's Disgruntledest — Actually heard on an uptown 6 during rush hour.
4/5/2008 — GUI-Tar — Somebody has to make one of these.
4/4/2008 — Simple Multiplication — Based on an actual conversation I overheard. Also, I really need to stop playing with Photoshop and...
4/3/2008 — 110 IEEEs Of Separation — "Don't even LOOK at it until it's done; I can't afford to restart this...
4/2/2008 — 99 Percent Effective — Based on a real commercial, and the real comment I made the first time I heard it.
4/1/2008 — Access Restrictions — The first of many.